Category Archives: comedy

pain is the pits

I was diagnosed with fibro in 1996… have relieved 98% of my symptoms and agree that PET THERAPY of the pit bull variety kind helps a lot… since pibbles are funny dogs… goofy… warm… cuddly and silly… much comic relief, lots of laugh, plus calming warmth and an abundance of licks… of course I am biased…

pain is the pits… this morning my lower back was hurting, cici is applying her special therapy upon it and my back feels better already…

http://www.fmnetnews.com/latest-news/pet-therapy-reduces-fibromyalgia-pain

more about how I have relieved my pain from fibro is here…

loved that Animal Planet had pit bull puppies in their Too Cute segment but miss Pit Bulls and Parolees, which will be on again January 5.  below is just a Dogs 101 segment about American Pit Bull Terriers…

http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/dogs-101/videos/american-pit-bull.htm

what do you think????

merry pitti

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ANIMAL PLANET’S ‘DECISION 2012′

PET CANDIDATES ENTER FINAL CAMPAIGN STRETCH IN ANIMAL PLANET’S ‘DECISION 2012’

 

– Dog, Cat & Independent Parties Vie for Title of ‘America’s Favorite Pet’ in Online Election –

 

As we head into the final weeks of the 57th U.S. presidential election, Animal Planet is asking Americans to cast their vote to determine once and for all whether the United States is a dog country, cat country or if there is another pet that best represents this great land. Animal Planet’s Decision 2012, the race to elect America’s favorite pet, opens its polls today at animalplanet.com/decision2012, patriots and pet lovers chose whether the Cat, Dog or Independent party will represent them.

 

In the race to decide America’s favorite pet, each side has been slinging mud (case in point this brutal attack ad against dogs, paid for by the always controversial Cats for World Domination PAC), but time will tell which party will pull ahead in this hard-fought race. Americans are invited to perform their paw-triotic duty and visit Animal Planet’s Decision 2012 website to get the facts and make an informed decision before casting their ballots.

 

The pet parties are sparing no expense in getting their messages out to the public, with both Dog and Cat PACs securing airtime on Animal Planet this month for their attack ads. Animal Planet opinion polls currently show that:

  • California, Georgia and Texas lead the nation as “dog-loving” states.
  • The Cat Party dominates the polls in Illinois, Massachusetts and Oregon.
  • Florida, Ohio and Virginia are among the most hotly contested states, with two parties vying closely.

Additionally, while Decision 2012 presents Americans with one defining question, more than 6,000 candidates across parties also are lobbying to serve their country as the “Cutest,” “Smartest,” “Most Talented,” “Most Athletic” and “Funniest” pets. While the United States is primarily two-party system, the Independent party may very well turn Animal Planet’s Decision 2012 on its head.

 

No matter your party, Animal Planet encourages Americans to exercise their right to vote – for pet and political leaders. For more information on Animal Planet’s Decision 2012, please visit animalplanet.com/decision2012. To find out how to register to vote in the November 6th election, please visit the U.S. Election Assistance Commission website.

 

WATCH THE ATTACK ADS: 

  About Animal Planet

Animal Planet Media (APM), a multi-media business unit of Discovery Communications, is the world’s only entertainment brand that immerses viewers in the full range of life in the animal kingdom with rich, deep content via multiple platforms and offers animal lovers and pet owners access to a centralized online, television and mobile community for immersive, engaging, high-quality entertainment, information and enrichment. APM consists of the Animal Planet television network, available in more than 96 million homes in the US; www.animalplanet.com, the ultimate online destination for all things animal; the 24/7 broadband channel, Animal Planet Beyond; and other media platforms including a robust Video-on-Demand (VOD) service; mobile content; and merchandising extensions.

 

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my dog is a paradox

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/dog_paradox

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Dog’s guide to saving the earth

 Every day is Earth Day says Cici

This is Cici’s guide to Earth Day…enjoy…

Dig deep (recycle your bones)  chew now and later

Go green, roll in the grass

Renew energy, chase a cat, bunny or squirrel

Save water, take less baths, and drink from the sprinkler!

Carpool or work from home (write a blog)

Clean up your waste

Clean the cat box naturally, have a snack, tasty all natural treats

Save the Humans, Hug a Tree Hugger

Conserve Energy, Sleep

Kiss Me, I’m Organic

Reduce your Paw Print, Zooooom…and Harness K9 Energy !(yes, that is our good friend V-dog Ginger Girl)…

Make your own bread

Plant a tree, honor a pet

Happy Pug Earth Day

Raise Chickens

http://www.marthastewart.com/901133/how-raise-chickens-your-own-backyard

 

what are you and your dogs doing for Earth Day????

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a tale of two cookies

Cici is a foodie… she LOVES her cookies and will go to any lengths to get them as evidenced in the photos below…fyi, my title must be given poetic license, thank you…no cookies were harmed in this escapade… they were however eaten…

I put a bunch of dog cookies into her new Canine Citizen bag, unleashed her and voila… said Canine Citizen bag aka Exhibit A… note the nifty poop waste bag dispenser…

and the Krebs leash

and look what happened… she’s a very lazy Cookie Monster and did not sniff out the cookies at first… I bet Riley would have figured it out… but sometimes Cici’s sniffer is just not up to snuff   Riley’s page … http://www.tombihn.com/page/001/CTGY/_DOG

but eventually Cici’s nose led her to the goodies…

and she vacuumed up the treats… and when they were all gone, she wanted MORE…

Where have all the cookies gone ???   Gone to belly every one… oh when will they ever return, oh when will they ever return???   (Think I’ve heard this song before, LOL)… (where have all the flowers gone, blog post, where have all the cookies gone)…

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Filed under canine cuteness, comedy, dog treats, doggie bags, dogs, silly dog, Uncategorized

Record Setting Animals of 2011

There was some dumb Guinness list, but I thought that I could come up with a better list than the tallest dog, the smallest cow and the balloon poppinest dog…

1.  Patrick the Miracle puppy with the MOST Facebook pages of ANYONE — 60+ Facebook pages… no one else comes near to that record… Patrick is the dog with the most number of fans around the world, bar none. Say a little prayer for our boy tomorrow is his custody hearing.

2. Lean on me, Cici the bug and bed hog aka polka dot princess has to sit on me … breaks the world record for sitting on me

ok, this is not Cici but an example…and darn cute photos

http://www.jms.net.au/photo_gallery/photo_gallery.htm

and speaking of Cici, hah, it’s the polka dot princess’ blog and she can brag all she wants, ok, last night we shared some photos of Cici bashing her cone, to make a doggie friend laugh because they have to wear a cone right now. wanted to give them something to look forward to. after her cone was no longer needed, I let Cici bite it and chew it and bash it around… so here she is, Cici the cone bashing dog…the world record holding cone bashing dog…

3. The Academy Award goes to the four legged furry friend who says I will take a bath over my dead dog body…  I need to give Cici a bath and have been putting it off for days for just this reason… why do dogs hate taking baths? they love water… another mystery of the canine universe. Here is another few: why is Cici barking at the birds every morning now and why is she making a little hole in the dirt to go pee pee in all of a sudden?  our best friends are just so funny, aren’t they?

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twitter anyone?

you can meet fun people on the Internet, twitter, facebook, blogging…  networking…

and other pet bloggers are a very interesting bunch… some are authors, trainers, groomers, communicators, animal rescuers, pet product company spokespeople or just plain old dog owners. some have one dog, like me, others, a bunch of canines.

Edie Jarolim, is one such lady who I follow on Twitter. Her tweets are always fun, interesting and sometimes downright howlarious… so one day I clicked on over to her blog,

A guilt-free zone for good dog owners

http://willmydoghateme.com/,  and found out she has written a book called Am I Boring My Dog? and 99 Other Things Every Dog Wishes You Knew…

after reading her posts, I wanted more, so I got a copy of the book.

indeed, it’s a wow-ser!

didn’t really know what to expect, except I hoped it would be fun like her blog and imagine, IT IS !

maybe you have a dog, or have dreamed of getting one, for sure you know other people in those categories, so get this book!  it answers basic questions such as should I get a mixed breed or a purebred, what should I call my dog, why should I get a dog rather than a cat, how do I know my child is ready for a dog, and outrageous others such as is there such a thing as a dog travel agent, a doggie shrink, and will my dog hate me if I dress her (YES!)…and do all dogs get grumpy when they get old?

and the best part is it is easy to read in small bits of time, because it is organized into bite-sized pieces, so if you are hurrying around for the howlidays and don’t have a spare second, no worries. This book provides practical info while making you chuckle, all in a short amount of time, no small feat.

cici and I especially enjoyed the section on  Fun and Games on the Road.

love the dog you’re with, and treat the dog owners in your life with this Erma Bombeck meets Victoria Stillwell read.

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Start a Foot Licking Spa Salon for Fun & Profit

Start Your Own Foot Licking Spa Salon (Shoe Cleaning and Tail Lashing Extra) a Lucrative Home Business …

You can make a big pile of cash at home with a FOOT LICKING, (SHOE CLEANING and TAIL LASHING ) spa salon business!  This is perfect for multi-tasking dogs everywhere, honest.  Utilize shelter dogs, for a bonus and/or give a small % to animal rescue groups and you will have a faithful following. HIRE HOMELESS MUTTS !!! You will get TONS OF PRESS. You will never have to be concerned about cash flow again !

Wild exotic sounding spa treatments take place all over the world every day. Hot stones on backs. Mud spas. Seaweed, sea salt, herbal, even chocolate slatherings.

In Japan, tiny fish that nibble away all the dead skin on the feet, and in other areas of the body are all the rage at foot spa salons. The Japanese find this very relaxing and pools of foot nibbling fish are everywhere. Well, here in America, with our CAN DO spirit, we can make our Best Friends Foot Spas that offer FOOT LICKING a Huge Success!!

Here in California, folks are known for being the first in the country to do just about anything. We have raw sushi places on every block or mall, koi fish in our pools (similar to gold fish, only bigger and different colors) plus whales and dolphins in the ocean, some we swim with. None of these sea animals would work for a successful foot licking spa salon.

Have a menu of services and tell people what to expect. Give them what they pay for and more.

First, when people come inside your foot spa, if they have shoes on with laces, NO PROBLEM !  Your dog, if she is anything like mine, probably can untie the laces in a flash. Then s/he can help with taking the shoes off the feet, already beginning the spa treatment with some showing off.

Have a bowl of warm water ready for spa participants to put their feet into after your dog gets to cleaning the feet. Meanwhile, another dog can clean their shoes.

The dogs will take care of the shoes, put them in a special place. Then the customers feet are put in a pan of warm water. Very soothing. Feet are greased and wrapped as suggested below. After that, the foot licking treatment begins. Wonderful! The dogs are happy, the customers are, too.  And you are making loot, to boot, Heavenly!!

Felines welcome?

Some people may also like the feel of a different type of licking. One done by a very special tongue, a feline’s. Yes, you heard me right.  The sharp razorlike cat tongue treatment may precede the canine licking or happen afterward, whatever the customer wants !  Be sure to let them know that toe chewing or clawing is an extra benefit.

Similarly, tail lashing can happen at the beginning or the end of the process and may or may not be included in the spa treatment. No more than three dog tails are advised at any given time. And if you can train the dogs to wag in sync with one another, the better the effect.

A foot licking salon just might become your American dream. Your ship will have come in. All you need is a few enthusiastic dogs, a comfortable room with relaxing reclining chairs, some soothing music, incense, aromatherapy and/or a few scented candles to set the mood.

Put up a website, invite customers to your Open House and let them try their first treatment free or with a discount.

Your family pets can help earn their keep, utilizing their foot fetishes for good and help you make a small fortune in the foot licking business.

This could be a very lucrative full-time or part-time venture. Whatever floats your boat. And you can charge whatever the traffic will bear.

If you grease the feet with a thin layer of butter and then wrap them doggies (feet) in meat (hot dogs, turkey, sausage, bacon, chicken or deli meat, even spam will do),  the dogs will be motivated to lick longer. Foot licking can be a lot of work for a working hound. I can see the signs… Will work for hot dogs or Hot dogs lapping up the luxury. Creamy peanut butter is another possibility, depending upon the dog. Cheaper than meat, to cut your expenses when you are first starting out.

A NEW TYPE OF PET THERAPY

I would suggest that you call these spa treatments pet therapy for your clients. So they can tell all of their friends and brag about how special it is. Every American loves to prove their high class status and tell their friends and relatives about the new therapy treatment they’ve gotten and the more expensive, the better the therapy. And, soon you will even be writing off your vet bills, butcher and dog food as business expenses. Win win woof.

BEV HILLS ADJACENT

Your dogs will be pampered and revered. When you relocate to Bev Hills, and Paris Hilton, Doris Day, Betty White and other dog loving celebs jump on the foot licking bandwagon,  you will know that you have ARRIVED. You can also offer these foot licking services as part of a Doggie and Me package, part of your B&B. Also, when your dog has its own cell phone or beeper and Martha Stewart, Animal Planet and/or Oprah ask you to come on their show for a demonstration, your 15 minutes of fame will have begun.

Give the dogs whatever they want so they’ll treat the customers right !

Little yappy dogs may be too pampered and cause too many ego problems. Not showing up for work. Nipping at feet. Big, sloppy or medium dogs may be the best dogs. The kind of dogs that love to please and will lick feet all day long, every day if you let them. Doggie heaven and money too.

AN ECO FRIENDLY FOOT SPA!

You can advertise that your spa is green and eco friendly, too… Dogs cleaning up the planet one foot at  time!

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Filed under aromatherapy, au natural dog, B&B's, big dogs welcome, California, canine reflexology, comedy, dog kisses, dog reflexology, dog spa, dog treats, doggie healing center, dogs, eco friendly/green, funny, holistic healing for animals, money, natural health remedies, Oprah, organic, women with dogs, zen dog

do your feet stink?

Do your feet stink… 

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MEDICAL TEST 

 

 

STARE INTO THE CAT’S EYES   FOR 10 SECONDS

 

 

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NOW STARE IN THE PUPPY’S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS

 

 

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Thank you…Your CAT SCANand LAB TESTS

are now complete

 

 

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Now, I just want to party! 

 

 

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….have a GREAT Day!!!

 

 

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How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

 well, this does not mention Dalmatians nor pit bulls, but it’s still funny… 

 

from ‘Why Does My Dog Act That Way?’, by Dr. Stanley Coren.  “How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?” …  it depends upon the breed.

  •  Border Collie: Just one, but why not let me change the light fixture so that it will accept fluorescent bulbs, which are much more efficient?
  • Bulldog: Don’t bother; I’ll just lie here in the dark.
  • German Shepherd: Just one, but it will have to wait until I’ve rescued those people trapped in the dark and led them to safety, and then checked the house to make sure that no one has entered under cover of darkness to take advantage of the situation.
  • Shetland sheepdog:  I will as soon as I arrange all of the new bulbs in a tight and orderly little circle.
  • Golden retriever:  The sun is shining, we’ve got no work to do today, I’ve got this neat red ball here, and you’re inside worrying about some silly lightbulb?
  • Rottweiller: Go ahead, and see if you’re tough enough to make me!
  • Corgi: First, I’ll bark until the old bulb leaves of its own accord and then I’ll nip at the new one until it goes into the socket…
  • Labrador retriever: I can do it! Please!….Please…I can. You know I can. Please….
  • Greyhound:  It isn’t moving, so who cares?
  • Pointer:  I see it. There it is. Look, it’s right there…
  • Jack Russell terrier:  Me! I can reach it! All I have to do is to keep bouncing off the furniture and walls.
  • Poodle:  I’ll just whisper sweet nothings into the Border collie’s ear and he’ll do it.  By the time he’s finished putting in the new light fixture, my nails will be dry.

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