hair of the dog… happy April Fool’s Day…

this sounds like an April Fool’s Day joke, but it’s not… spinning dog’s hair into sweaters… 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=538108&in_page_id=1770

and it’s not just in England… but also here in USA… dead dog’s don’t wear sweaters… but you can wear your dead dog’s hair … ugh… 

http://www.bbkirk.com/Dog%20Hair%20Yarn.htm 

 

what do you think? would you spin your dog’s hair into a sweater and wear it???  is this one of those stuff white people like items?  

 

 

 

do your feet stink?

Do your feet stink… 

 

 

MEDICAL TEST 

 

 

STARE INTO THE CAT’S EYES   FOR 10 SECONDS . 

 

 

 

 

NOW STARE IN THE PUPPY’S EYES FOR 10 SECONDS …

 

 

 

 

Thank you…Your CAT SCANand LAB TESTS

are now complete

 

 

 

 

Now, I just want to party! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

….have a GREAT Day!!!

 

 

 

is my dog contagious?

 Thanks so much to Pet Rescue Central for linking to my funraising article… 

http://petrescuercentral.blogspot.com/2008/03/fundraising.htmll

My dear sweet Cici writer has some serious afflictions and various harmful conditions… and I thought i would share them with you all to see if you know what to do to cure her… some, if not all of these, are believed to be in the K9 handbook… email me for a copy.

first of all, she is a true bruceaholic… she has a very serious bruce addiction…  bruce almighty… our friend and landlord bruce is her best friend and she just cannot get enough of him… as evidenced by her constant nagging, wailing, barking, growling and waiting at the stairs to get her fix of him 400 times a day… the following afflictions that she causes are numerous including but not limited to: 

Whackto Intolerance… whenever she gets all crazy girl whacko, at some point, you reach the brink and cannot tolerate her wild flights running up and down the stairs, jumping madly up on the couch, or barking in the mirror one minute longer… at this point, either you take a drink to calm your nerves or throw the dog outta the house and into the yard, lawn furniture be warned ! 

Repetitive Lick Syndrome, this ensues at the closeness of anyone’s feet, hands or face, beware…  symptoms include slobbered on wet toes, arms, eyeballs and/or cheeks…Tail Lashing, quite deceptive so be forewarned, the onset is quick, sudden, and caused by sheer excitement…you may think that she is happy to see you and think it’s cute but if you get too close, you may feel like your knees are being flogged with a whip… try putting a pillow over said tail, this should cause symptoms to abate… otherwise, tackle the K9 down to the floor on their back and administer belly rubs… 

Chewtonia, aka chew the one you’re with, this dangerous condition must be prevented due to possible loss of fingers or toes, while the K9’s mouth is still open, insert a large plastic object such as a chew toy or bone, get your digits out of the mutt’s mouth as quickly as you can and run for the hills! Smotherization, aka dog butt on your head while you sleep, and/or doggie breath swarms into your face while you doze, a deadly combination, if synthesized with RLS (Repetitive Lick Syndrome outlined above) suffocation can occur at all altitudes… 

OneEarUp complex, it is believed that this signals an incoming message from the Pack Leader in the Sky. These messages are inaudible to human ears, and audible only to K9’s. Letting your dog listen to these alerts can lead to bouts of incessant barking at invisible objects and frenzied running around in circles, leaping into your lap or hiding underneath the bed. It is also possible that the reason dogs drink out of the toilet bowl is to receive messages, since toilet bowls are conducive and another deceptive method of incoming calls. The only antidote is doggie ear muffs, to be applied at random moments to keep the K9 off guard as to your intentions. Also, close the bathroom door and keep your mutt out.

Sniffitup, another grave complex, that is evidenced by dog sniffing the grass, your shoes, everything in its path and can lead to meandering off any given path, standing still with nose quivering, followed by swfit outbursts of taking gross, disgusting and/or repulsive items into one’s mouth such as dead birds, rats or feces. No known cure.

Growlybearitis, one of the most lethal conditions that is the equivalent of Jewish mother guilt inducement… your beloved dog sticks their head underneath the bed and growls whenever they are displeased with your behavior. Someone unknown passing by might be inclined to believe their sad doggie story. They also could be tempted to call the ASPCA because clearly you have been neglecting your precious pet, deprived them or otherwise mistreated them. What a poor innocent dog. Now, give me one hundred Hail Mary’s and one hundred sit-ups. You are bad, to blame and there is no redemption for a pet parent who does not pay attention to their dog 24/7 and give them whatever it is they want 24/7.  Obviously, you are the meanest pet parent on the face of the earth and deserve to be banished forever to the hinterlands, Timbuktu or Antartica, whichever is worst.. that is until dinnertime, when the said K9 has to go out, or you are reprieved by giving them a new chew toy,  bone or belly rub. Better shape up ! 

Feetwarming, a nice fuzzy deceptive trick to keep dog owners from kicking said K9 outta the bed and house no matter the day or night…. may be contagious… highly addictive… 

Imagine…

Somewhere Over the Rainbow… Iz…

Happy Brain chemicals dance…

http://www.newstarget.com/gallery/articles/Hilarious_Dance.gif